Our First Car
by John Clayton, IIA, Gaytonian 1961
For months and months my friend and I had been working on our
first car,
It was made from bits and pieces we had found covered with tar,
The pistons in the engine were old corks stuck on pins,
The cylinders, alas, were rejected baked-beans tins!
On the fourteenth of October, our new car was complete,
We pushed it and we pushed it down the alley to the street.
I shouted amidst the clatter "Turn the ignition on,"
Oh! But were my feet surprised to find the floor had gone!
Although the car was floorless, we started up the crock,
But then we thought that starting-up had broken down the clock.
We had a look and my friend said, "If I don't have to shout,
I'd like to tell you, my dear chap, the gearbox has come out."
The car stopped chugging on a slope, the fuel-gauge showing nil,
And before we could stop the thing, it was rolling down a hill,
I said, "Hoy! can't you stop this thing?" He replied, "It's a
piece of cake,
All you do is listen to me and push down on the brake."
Two dismal faces stared awhile, for both of us could tell
That when the floor had fallen out, the brakes had gone as well.
So far it was a lovely day, but being a bumpy lane,
The tyres went bang, the roof shot off, and it began to rain.
But after then, the wheels fell off, and I gave it up but, still,
We haven't made a car since then and I don't think we ever will.